…for the absence.
Due to post World Cup comedown, summer holidays, school holidays and other things too boring to mention. Oh, and did I mention “late running”? That was always a London Underground favourite excuse back in the day. Not that this is an excuse that I’m making…
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
And no I’m not going to end with a link to “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”.
In any version.
Because it’s shit.
I said “captain”, she said “what?”
Well, sort of.
Good work lads, viva el tiki taka, and here’s to fair play’s triumph over dirty football and iffy referees.
Here are the front pages of today’s Spanish papers
… and yes, the miracle has happened: the Catalan press and the Basque!!
Further, more detailed analysis in the next post.
Tags: beso, captain, carbonero, casillas, casillas kisses sara carbonero, casillas smiling, euphoria, goalie, goalkeeper, grin, happy, ike casillas, ikea casillas, iker casillas, kiss, reporter, smile, snog, south africa, spain vs holland, spain vs netherlands, telecinco, tongue sarnie, video, world cup, world cup 2010, youtube
Now imagine this.
Imagine, and I know it’s pretty unlikely, but try.
Just for one minute, try and imagine what would happen if England qualified for a World Cup final.
Especially after a less than brilliant series of matches sealed by some spectacular, if occasionally lucky goals.
After a semi-final against a powerful opponent who had possibly played better than anyone in the tournament so far.
A semi final in which EVERY SINGLE PLAYER pulled their weight, defending, assisting, passing and repeatedly shooting at goal.
There would, by rights, be dancing in the streets, singing, drinking, cheering and flag-waving. There would be a sense of unity and shared joy up and down the country, and the next day all the newspapers would have a big picture of the team or the goalscorers, maybe a Union Jack somewhere and a big headline saying YES! or FOOTBALL’S COMING HOME or IT’S 1966 ALL OVER AGAIN, and (in the case of the tabloids) several politically incorrect drubbings of the other team – especially if they happened to be Germany, Argentina or France.
But all the papers would have the beaming faces of Rooney, Lampard, Ashley Cole, Capello and the rest of ‘em splashed all over the front page and the back page too, from The Guardian to the Daily Mail, from the Yorkshire Post to the Tooting and Mitcham Advertiser, regardless of political leanings. I would even wager that England players might even make the front pages of The Scotsman despite the fact that many Scotland fans had vowed to support any other team but England.
So, given the fact that Spain have just achieved such a feat, and have never made it past the quarter finals before in any World Cup, you’d expect the press to be united in their praise of the national team’s sterling effort, putting political and regional differences aside for once?
After all, Marca journalists did witness Spanish flags in the Plaza Canaletas - where Barça fans celebrate their teams victories – and people shouting “oa oa oa, Barcelona es española”, which did at one stage seem as likely as Maradona wearing an England shirt.
But then again, the goal that made the difference was from “shaggy-haired warrior” Carles Puyol, Barça captain and genuine Catalan. Xavi, and Piqué are also Catalans and on the blaugrana payroll, while Capdevila was born in Lérida (or Lleida, if you must). Iniesta is a key Barça player, and if I’m not wrong Cesc Fabregas came to prominence in the Camp Nou youth teams. Pedro also played a key part in yesterday’s match, and he also has a few blue and red shirts hanging in his wardrobe back in BCN.
So really, much as many Madridistas (of which I count myself) may knock Barça – especially after Joan Laporta tried to use the club as a springboard to his dreams of a recession-proof future in nationalist politics (until the fraud squad get on to you.. or DEC/Salvame/La Noria etc, ask Julián Muñoz!) the truth is that many of Spain’s best players play there, and from next season that includes David Villa as well.
However, the old saw that there are “two Spains” (I’m not talking about the team that played Switzerland and the team that played Germany, I’m on a geopolitical tip here) is rearing its ugly head again. Even within Catalonia itself.
Take a look at the two editions of today’s Barcelona based newspaper El Periodico (great “cool” Barcelona minimalist name – it means “the newspaper”) below, the Spanish version on the left and the Catalan version on the right.
The Spanish version is headlined RED GLORY and boasts a huge photo of triumphant Carles Puyol just after his soon-to-be-legendary header.
The Catalan version DOES NOT EVEN MENTION the match at all, and opts to go for a story about Cuba planning to free some political prisoners, along with a picture of some politicians denying any links with corruption on the costas.
It’s as if the match never happened, a bit like what the papers were like in the times of Franco… if something happened that the rulers disapproved of then rather than report on it, albeit critically, it was just ignored and not mentioned. Check the date at the top of each paper.. a big eight, TODAY.
But to look at them you’d think the Catalan one was Wednesday’s.
Come on people, this is a great day, and if you want to use the excuse that a Catalan and a Barcelona stalwart has got a handful of Barcelona players and another handful of hangers-on into a World Cup final then go ahead. But maybe if you are really shortsighted enough to consider the likes of Casillas, Sergio Ramos and Xavi Alonso as hangers-on then it could be that refereeing is the career option for you. We all love Puyol today. A credit to the nation. Whatever your concept of his nation is. Plus, in being a fan of Napalm Death, Cannibal Corpse and The Ramones (you’d never have guessed to look at him, would you), Puyol shows he has moderately better taste than the likes of (Saint) Iker Casillas who put the likes of Julio Iglesias and Manolo Escobar on his iTunes playlist. (Schweinsteiger had “Paper Planes” on his!)
Catalan sports papers like the imaginatively named Sport (Sport, El Periódico.. can you see a pattern here?) were full of praise for last night’s feat, coining the term PUYOLAZO into the bargain (you Google it!). So, “serious papers” (and what I believe people back in Blighty refer to as “haters“) in Catalonia, just get a grip and enjoy the party (and the partido on Sunday) and for God’s sake don’t line up some “Sorry Spain fails again” headline if by some unlucky chance Holland wins the match.
Then again, the Catalan Periódico did have some solace for football fans on its front page… a picture of our old friend Sara Carbonero.
Tags: barça, barcelona, barcelona es española, burger king, cannibal corpse, casillas, catalans, el periódico, Goal, greñas, headbanging, header, hero, joan laporta, julián muñoz, manolo el del bombo, melenas, napalm death, piqué, podemos, pujol, puyol, puyolazo, ramones, real madrid, sara carbonero, shaggy, spain vs germany, sport, team, victory, villa, win, world cup 2010, xavi, xavi alonso
Oh, and just to rub it in for the Germans once more…
¡Bien hecho chicos! – Well done lads!
Tags: 1-0, a por ellos, del bosque, fútbol, football, Goal, la roja, la selección, mundial, oe oe oe, podemos, pudimos, puyol header, semifinal, spain, spain beat germany, spain finalists, victory, world cup, world cup 2010
Come on Spain!
¡A por ellos!
Tags: casillas, germany, Goal, octopus, paul the octopus, psychic octopus, semi-final, spain, ten tackles, tentacles, Torres, Villa Del Bosque, world cup 2010
A lot has happened in World Cup land since my last post.
Firstly England were knocked out by Germany, and Rooney, Cole, Terry, Lampard and co. were sent home with their collective tail between their legs. Well… maybe apart from Ashley Cole who possibly had his tail between someone else’s legs. Allegedly.
Then one by one big guns were knocked out, including hypothetical finalists such as Brazil and Argentina and big stars like Cristiano Ronaldo. Even the much lauded successor to Maradona – Leo Messi – was unable to notch up a single goal (possibly due to the fact that Xavi wasn’t in the Argentinian squad to pass to him), and El Pelusa himself (it means “Fluff” by the way, lord knows what the late Alan Freeman would have made of that, pop pickers..) eventually had to blub an embarrassed adios (or “AD10S” as the Spanish press styled it) to his dream job. Italian and French politicians asked questions about their respective teams’ piss-poor performance, and referees’ decisions were once more questioned, leading Sepp Blatter to make some vague promise to introduce technology into subsequent tournaments to stop such embarrassing gaffes reoccurring.
Ghana were also the last African team to be knocked out, sadly sparing headline writers for Marca and As proclaiming GHANA GANA from their front pages.
But, by the skin of their teeth and God on their side, Spain, pre-tournament favourites, made it through to the semis where they meet the mighty Germany later today. Villa’s goal against Paraguay was amazing, and the game had its fair share of refcentric slip-ups, including a penalty given when it shouldn’t have been, another not given when it should have been immediately after, a penalty that had to be re-taken after being saved, a goal that was probably rightly offside.. etc..etc
And then last night (it’s gone midnight!) Holland beat Uruguay with goals from an ex-Barça player and two ex-Madridistas. A very late second goal couldn’t save Veron and co. from defeat in the dying minutes but they put up a brave fight.
Which brings us onto a tenuous link to a footy-related EP which I believe even the excellent Football and Music blog hasn’t picked up on yet.
A Japanese shoegazing band on a My-Bloody-Valentine-meets-Jesus-and-Mary-Chain tip called cruyff in the bedroom (all lower case like that), formed in 1998, the year of Japan’s World Cup debut.
Their bio states that they were named after a “Dutch soccer coach named Cruyff who died before winning a World Cup” so we can only assume that the James Osborne and Andrew Thompson who allegedly wrote or translated the band’s English language blurb are Americans. They also have a MySpace page called “only feedback” (as in “Only Shallow” meets more feedback.. can you see the influences yet?).
So here is the prize at the end of the waffle, cruyff in the bedroom’s “top of the world” E.P. in full for you to take away, to celebrate Holland getting to the World Cup finals.
And if you happen to be passing through 下北沢, they’re playing at the Club Que there on Friday week.
That’s the Japanese band, not the Dutch football team.
>>>>> cruyff in the bedroom – top of the world <<<<<
And not a word about the German psychic octopus who predicted Spain would triumph over Joachim Löw’s men on July 7th!
Ah.
Well I’m off to enter this exciting topical World Cup competition here, see you after the match!
Tags: ad10s, argentina, cruyff in the bedroom, david villa, download, finalists, football, ghana, hair, holland, joachim löw, johan cruyff, la roja, la selección, maradona, mp3, my bloody valentine, octopus, Paraguay, semi-final, shoegaze, spain vs germany, spanish team, villa goal, world cup 2010, zip file
Fighting my divided loyalty between my real home side (England) and my actual home side (Spain), and coming down from Friday’s Iberian victory over Chile, the next few days will be dominated by two matches between four sides with a traditional historical rivalry: Spain vs. Portugal and the tabloid journalist’s (wet) dream… England vs. Germany.
Anyone who has ever attended an English boys’ school cannot fail to recall the chant of “two world wars and one World Cup” (I seem to also recall another about George Best wearing women’s underclothing… although he wasn’t English, so maybe that was the point) and our great British red-tops (not Chris Evans and La Roux, I mean the tabloids) get into a similar jingoistic frenzy, digging up hoary old chestnuts that even Basil Fawlty would balk at.
Even Baddiel, Skinner and Broudie played up to this in a re-working of the Three Lions video a few years ago when the boys in their England tops faced a German team who were all called Kuntz apart from one.
Witness the front page of the Daily Star (the “Official England World Cup Newspaper”) above, where they claim that Private Rooney “will fight the Jerries on the pitches”, probably in a manner not unlike Private Pike in Dad’s Army.
Did they mention that Germany was responsible for the single-handed awfulness that is Scooter (even though they were inspired by Stump to write one of their biggest hits)? Or that Angela Merkel (and Helmut Kohl for that matter) might be a tad overweight (even though both – together – are still about half the size of Chris Moyles)? Or that Claudia Schiffer has no sense of humour? Or that when Kennedy said “Ich bin ein Berliner” he was saying “I am a doughnut”?
Strangely enough the Spanish press have not come up with anything so xenophobic with which to bait their former colonial rivals Portugal, other than telling Cristiano Ronaldo to “watch out”.
So rather than stir up any more international animosity, why don’t you listen to this gem from the 1990 World Cup in Italy by The Real Sounds of Africa, produced by one Norman Cook, basking in the glow of Nº 1 success with Dub Be Good To Me (the first mash-up number one??). The CD single even included a Bonus International Beats mix, all written in the same font as the Beats International hit, but in no way a cash-in. Back then it seemed a bit of a novelty that Africans (not sure which part of the huge continent they were from… give the people at Cherry Red a ring to confirm if you must) knew of Lineker and Van Basten but there you go..
Real Sounds of Africa – Soccer Fan
Tags: 2010, african music, beats international, daily star, download, england, england vs germany, fatboy slim, football, gary lineker, jingoism, mp3, norman cook, real sounds of africa, rooney, soccer fan, spain, tabloids, wayne rooney, world cup
Spaghetti alla Carbonero
… whatever will be will be.
Both the UK and Spain are chattering and making disparaging comments aimed at one attractive blue-eyed sports reporter, the young lass you see above you: Señorita Sara Carbonero.
Although the name (and indeed the photo above) may get you thinking of pasta, the word “carbonero” is actually Spanish for “tit”.
As in blue tit, coal tit etc. El carbonero común is actually a Great Tit.
Make of that what you will.
But Sarita has the unenviable job of being TV channel Telecinco’s roving sports reporter (or Pitchside Princess as one transatlantic publication put it) at the 2010 World Cup, knowing that sooner or later (and probably often) she will have the dubious honour of interviewing her boyfriend – “Saint” Iker Casillas – on live TV in front of an audience of millions. When the dreaded moment arose, Sara told Casillas that he’d “mucked up” or words to that effect, while Iker inadvertently pulled a face not unlike some approximation of the traditional Spanish expression “like El Fary eating a lemon” .
The UK tabloids have been quick to paint Carbonero as some kind of pariah, showing a photo of her, mic in hand hanging around the Spain goal (probably taken during the warm up or a training session), suggesting that most football-loving Spaniards were baying for her blood. In a straw poll of eight Spaniards I conducted last night, only one seemed to blame Sarita for Spain’s misfortune, although that was more due to another revelation about Ms. Carbonero that I shall not reveal here (unless a tabloid journalist offers me a large sum of money).
As Sid Lowe (the man in the know) suggests in his latest blog post, no-one here in Spain is pointing the finger at Sara Carbonero at all, although her little mini-interview of her other half has made her a household name around the globe and got her pretty face on the front page of The Times, no less. Even though Telecinco – her employer – is no stranger to morbo, that untranslateable twisted Spanish fascination most closely linked with other people’s sex lives and football or political rivalries. From trash TV such as Aquí hay tomate and Salvame Deluxe through reality shows like Big Brother and The Farm to pseudo-serious (at times!) debate shows like Cronicas Marcianas and La Noria, Telecinco has always placed an emphasis on the loud, the tacky and the morboso.
Why, here is a clip of the man who rolled football, politics and good old bad taste into one: none other than the late, great Jesus Gil. Former mayor of Marbella, president of Atlético Madrid and owner of a horse called Imperioso.
“Larger than life, and twice as ugly” as Martin Fry once said.
From the show Tutti Frutti.
Jesus Gil.
In a jacuzzi.
With a bevvy of busty beauties (known as las Mama Chicho).
On Telecinco, where else?
Oh, and as a treat, here’s a link to a page where you can read the lyrics and listen to this catchy little musical tribute to the man himself.
Tags: atletico, casillas, corruption, great tit, jesus gil, mama chicho, marbella, morbo, pasta, prolapse, sara carbonero, sid lowe, spaghetti, spain, spain vs switzerland, tabloids, telebasura, telecinco, world cup 2010
…that things fall into place.
For today is the day that the Spanish national team – locally known as La Selección, a term that always makes me think of chocolate boxes – play their inaugural game in the 2010 World Cup. The World Cup in which they are (the last time I checked) favourites to win, for the first time EVER.
And since I live in Madrid (the capital of Spain, for the benefit of American readers), I suppose they are really my home team.
Despite what mild-mannered coach Vicente del Bosque says, the pressure is on for the team to come up with the goods, deliver on their promise and trump their 2008 Euro Championship victory (and at least equal those corking goals scored in a recent friendly against Poland).
La Liga luminary and Guardian Spanish footy correspondent Sid Lowe best sums up the atmosphere in his latest CBC column… British readers may like to recall TV coverage of the recent UK General Election and subsequent hung parliament uncertainties where you could almost hear the hacks drumming their fingers waiting for something to happen.
A “roving reporter” from Spain’s Cuatro TV channel on the streets of Johannesburg was accosting the locals on the streets the other day, brandishing a team photo of “La Selección”. Most of the players’ names were new to the majority of passers by. One person even thought that Iniesta was Wayne Rooney. But of all the players, Fernando Torres – El Niño to some, just like that other Spanish golfer bloke and that tornado whirlwind thing and that surfwear brand – was the one most people recognised. Probably because he plays for Liverpool (one girl said she was supporting Spain because of Torres and Reina, now how many people do you know who follow a team because they rate the reserve goalie?), possibly because he’s the only player in the team with blonde hair.
In the photo above you can see he’s become something of a superhero, a far cry from his good-but-could-be-better days at Atletico.
So to celebrate Spain hopefully kicking this relatively soporific (Germany and vuvuzelas notwithstanding) World Cup up the proverbial, I leave you with a selection of videos featuring Señor Torres, starting with his most recent Pepsi ad, where he claims his poor pronunciation of the product name is down to his Fuenlabrada (that’s a suburb of Madrid) accent.
First here’s the “making of” (in English, curiously)
and the finished product..
One for department store El Corte Inglés
This gem is a cinema-style (don’t think big budget, think crap ads for local businesses before the film) promo for a hairdressers..
This one isn’t an advert at all, but an interview (with huge build-up) for Japanese TV! Absolute gold. See Torres interviewed by Japan’s number one black football reporter in Liverpool.
Greatest soundbite (from interviewer) “You used to be a man, now you are father”. WARNING: May contain Beatles.
Finally, a Nike classic with a few more of “the lads” from 2008, just before the European Championships.
Tags: anuncio, commercials, el corte inglés, españa, fernando torres, fuenlabrada, hairdressers, japanese, la roja, liverpool, nike, pepsi, pepsi ad, pesi, selección española, south africa 2010, spain, spanish football, world cup 2012
